Seriously, you guys.  I’m dying!  ????

If there was an emoji of a 150 year old rickety woman in a bed all wrapped up in bandages and in traction, I would certainly use that one.  We started our pergola yesterday.  You are probably just as excited as we are for the pure fact I’ve been talking about it since 1984.

Disclaimer:  This is, by no means, a tutorial on building a pergola, but I just wanted you to be able to experience Project Pergola right along with me.  ????  I think you will appreciate it.

Project Pergola

The beginning stages of Project Pergola was just getting the boards that were dropped off in the front of the house to the backyard.  First up were two 6″ x 6″ treated posts that are 10′ long.  FYI – They each weigh approximately 6000 pounds.  We followed that excitement by lugging six – 2″ x 10″ x 16′ treated planks down the same path.   And, to those who have never gotten to experience that enjoyment, those each weigh around 4,000 pounds.  ????   Break time!

The Beginning Stage

First up was the job of attaching the two corner posts to the concrete, which may turn into 6 to mimic our front porch.  The verdict is still out on that one.  We attached them to the concrete with special brackets by using a hammer drill to pre-drill the holes.  That drill is a beast that I hate with the passion and stay far away from.

Next, we had to attach a “ledger board” to the brick using that stupid 400 pound drill again.  Deb does the loud and dangerous tool part because I am too clumsy and am afraid I will hurt myself.  In fact, I don’t think she trusts me with them either.  ????

Here is where the real fun of the day occurred.  We had to attach the end of that ledger board to the brick EXACTLY the same distance between the side of the house as we attached that first post.  It had to be perfect or the pergola will sit lopsided on our patio.  We both measured the distance and made a pencil line on the brick.  We always measure twice and check each other’s work.

Deb got back up on her ladder and made a big line from the pencil mark on the brick where the side of the ledger board needed to be placed. She pre-drilled the holes in the 4,000 pound board while it was on the ground.

Attaching the Ledger Board

Standing on my ladder, I held the one side of the 4,000 pound board above my head against the brick wall butted up to the line Deb drew.  Deb, standing on her ladder, held the other side and used that 400 pound beast to drill a hole in the brick and pound in a wall anchor.  She then jumped down, moved her ladder to my side to give my arms a 5 second break until they came back to life.  I then held the 4,000 pound board again while she drilled the rest of the holes in the brick wall and pounded in the anchors. The anchors then needed tightened to open up a set of prongs inside the brick wall to make them more stable.

Hallelujah, the worse part is over!  Break time!

BIG Mistake

We are basically making up this project as we go because we have no real plans on paper.  So, we sat down in our lawn chairs underneath our new shade tree to observe our work and to figure out the next step.   The longer we observed our work, the more we noticed that the 4,000 pound ledger board that just took us 2 hours to attach with the anchors that open up into the brick wall looked too far to the right.

Deb pulled her ladder over to verify that it was, in fact, WRONG . ????

Feeling defeated, mad, and ready to cry, Deb took a step down from the ladder.  One side of the ladder fell off of the concrete, into the mud, and then twisted.  She started to fall off of the ladder to the left and instinctively threw her body to the right.  What happened next was quite impressive.  She basically performed a 1 1/2 forward dive in the pike position and ended that with a round off back handspring and landed on her feet…. not without several large bruises forming immediately.

As I stood shaking my head in disbelief, she went to hand me the drill she was holding and smashed my already smashed finger between the drill and the ladder.  ????

I believe I mumbled the words, “I hate my f-ing life right now.”

What Happened?

WHAT. THE. HELL?  We each measured twice and made a pencil mark.  After recovering from her award-winning diving and gymnastic performance, Deb got back up on the ladder and realized there was an old pencil mark from a previous project that we used rather than the ones we had made ourselves.

You know what that meant. We spent the next 2 hours to remove what we had just done, and another hour to hang the 4,000 pound board back up in the correct position.

We ended up attaching the boards on the outside of the ledger boards to the two posts to finish the entire outside frame and called it a night.  Seriously,  I wanted to share this story with you because sometimes I think people believe everything just comes really easy for us.  You all see projects from start to finish and I usually don’t share what happens between.   I don’t remember ONE project that went completely smooth.   This is our normal… our real life.  So thanks for coming along with us!   I pledge my love to each and every one of you!

You KNOW I will keep you posted on Project Pergola.   ????  I usually share a few extra pictures on Facebook and Instagram during the project, so I would love for you to follow along there, too.

What do you think?  I know that Deb can now add professional gymnast to her resume.  That was quite impressive.

Buh Bye now, said in an old ladies voice who is now in traction.

Danelle

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