I think all of us over 50 would agree that this “getting old” shit is for the birds. There are just certain things that we all go through that cause issues that very few people want to discuss. With two old gals in this household, we both have a multitude of different issues that we have gone through or are going through currently. I joke on social media and have brought it up so many times that I was asked to actually talk about it. So, I figured this would be the best platform.
Deb had a total hysterectomy several years back so she was forced into it. She was completely against taking any HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy), but after her symptoms got so bad, she gave in. And, the doctor actually recommended it because she was so young. She has recently gone off of all HRT and is using a natural approach for relief. (More on that down below.) I’m slowly and painfully getting there. My hormones need rechecked soon but I swear I’m stuck in the middle of it all. Here are what we have experienced. If this isn’t your cup of tea, stop reading now. ????
Energy Level – I have so much less energy than I did just two short years ago. I used to be able to work around the clock, but not anymore. In all reality, we both have gotten to the point where we really don’t care if the shit gets done anymore. We want it done, but the energy that it’s going to take isn’t really worth it until we are good and ready. Maybe that has to do with the fact that I cannot BUY a good nights sleep. I remember the nights in my early 30s that I would fall asleep before my head hit the pillow and sleep ALL night. ????????
Insomnia – I wake up between 4:02 and 4:17 every single day. It’s ridiculous. I mean seriously. When I’m not cattin’ around the house at 4am, I’m scrolling through Instagram or Facebook. And, most of the time, all of my oldie friends are commenting on posts during the middle of the night, so I know it’s not just me.
Hot Flashes – Quoting Deb, “They are irritating and debilitating.” ???? Deb’s are different from mine. Hers come from deep down within her soul and she just gets very agitated. Mine come on more like I’m just hot. I have to clarify that. I’m sweaty and hot, but my feet are ice-cold. I can have socks on and a blanket over my feet, but I’m sweating. Deb has been taking Prim Rose Oil Capsules and Black Cohosh and she swears they work. I haven’t started them yet.
Weight Gain – I remember being able to “watch what I ate” for a week and lose five pounds. Oh my gosh, I can “watch what I eat” now, and watch it appear on my spare tire the same day. I so lovingly call that spare tire “floppage” because that’s what it does. It flops over my pants. I hate it. ????
Anxiety – Huge bouts of anxiety appeared just as fast as that floppage. I don’t worry about anything in particular. It starts from deep down inside and hangs on for dear life until I can hear my heart beating inside my head. I have to focus on taking deep breaths to calm down. I finally started paying attention to when it was happening and realized it all has to do with my normal monthly cycle. The days right before I used to start my period were horrible. Oh… and sometimes I still have those stupid things, too. ????
Headaches – Right after my cycle (even when I don’t have one) I have a horrible hormonal headache than cannot be touched with ibuprofen. Normally that takes any of my aches and pains away. It doesn’t touch these. It’s a horrible throb in my temples and the top of my head. It happens every month at the same time.
Pissy Pants – Well, unfortunately pissy pants are a real problem. I don’t have many issues with it, but it’s a common one amongst several of my friends. Do you like that? You come into this world pissing your pants and you leave doing the same. ???? Jumping, laughing, coughing, sneezing are all something that will result in a change of the old undies. ????
The Smell – Seriously. ???? This is the subject that lots of people won’t discuss. My armpits are HORRIBLE. ???? I ended up falling apart in my doctor’s office and spilling the beans. I told him I piss my pants and my armpits smell like a hog barn. He said it is normal with the fluctuations of all of my hormones. I started doing an underarm detox along with using a natural deodorant and the detox seems to help with this problem.
Hunger – I swear, sometimes I feel no control. There are days when I am STARVING. I can’t get enough food. Deb has the same thing. Some days I’m fine eating our normal things and other days, I want to eat anything in sight. Oh… and some days I don’t care. My mind says, “You don’t need this.” And then I get a large case of the F-its and eat it anyway.
Feeling Dead Inside – I used to enjoy going out and trying new things. Things that used to be fun are not really that fun anymore. I’m perfectly happy sitting on my couch. Quoting Deb, “Sitting on the couch prepares us for dying. ????
Mood Swings – WOW…. is all I have to say. There are days when I feel completely stable. There are other days I shouldn’t be allowed in society. ???? There are days when my eyes open in the morning and I’m just mad. There is no reason. I’m just mad. There are other days when I’m completely fine. No rhyme or reason to any of it. Just plain craziness.
Menopausal Attention Deficit Disorder (MADD) – I swear, it’s a real thing. I can walk out into the kitchen to grab something and three steps into the room, I have no clue what I was doing. I can be in the middle of a sentence and have no clue what I was talking about. I appear to be a big dingbat and I used to be somewhat intelligent. ????
I complain here and there, but in all reality, there are so many great aspects of “getting old” that I really can appreciate. You can finally do what you want and it’s accepted. ????
Friend: “Do you want to go out for a few drinks tomorrow night at 8pm?”
Me: “No.”
Friend: “Do you want to go out to lunch and socialize with our co-workers?”
Me: “Nope. Not interested”
Friend: “Do you want to come over and hang out until all hours of the night?”
Me: “No.”
See how easy that is. ????????♀️ It takes a little practice but people will start expecting you to say NO and not ask anymore. ???? And I don’t think it sounds too crabby coming from someone who is old, has thyroid problems, who is menopausal, and just plain sick of doing shit they don’t want to do just to please people. I think it’s almost expected.
Because let’s be real. We are all taught we “have to go” or “they” will feel really bad. That’s correct to an extent. We do have to do some things that we don’t want to do because it’s the “right” thing to do. But getting old is the perfect reason to stop doing LOTS of things just because “someone” will feel bad. How about me feeling bad? How about me paying the price for being out late because I didn’t want to make someone feel bad? How about the recovery process? It takes DAYS after a social event because I’m the biggest extroverted introvert that I know. Well, wait. Deb MAY BE worst than I.
Since aging…. the WORLD looks differently, too. There is a calmness that comes with aging. Maybe it’s a mindset. Maybe it’s the surrender. All I know is that I don’t worry so much anymore about appearances. I like to look the best I can, but I certainly do not compare myself with a 20-year-old anymore. I’m at the point that I say, “Is this the best I personally can be?” If the answer is yes, then I’m great with that….. floppage and all. Because let’s face it. I can work my ass off at the gym. I can eat a bean for breakfast, a bean for lunch, and a sensible bean for dinner and I’m still going to have floppage. ????
I asked Deb this very question knowing full aware what my own answer would be.
“Would you go back to being younger if you could? It doesn’t come with the knowledge you have now. Or the peace of mind you get from being older. You just get to take back your younger body and your younger mind? Would you do it?”
Both of us say, “Never.”
Thanks so much for stopping by the blog. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate each and every one of you. I pledge my love from deep down inside my old lady heart.
Let me know in the comments if you are experiencing anything that I didn’t mention above. Or you can find me on Facebook and Instagram. I love to chit-chat with you.
Buh bye now… said in an old lady’s voice who has finally embraced herself… floppage and all!
Danelle
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I went through menopause early, around 47. Just stopped having periods and never had another! I waited the year to see if it was just a joke, but nope. No more periods! I've had the hot flashes and night sweats, but really nothing worse than I've had my whole life. And yes, the black cohosh works! I had a bit of fog and forgetfulness but truly it wasn't that bad for me. Now ask my kids, and you may get a different story ???? But they are prone to exaggerate and let's be honest, lie.
I love your honesty,and I also can relate ????
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Yup I had a total hysterectomy at 33! He put me on hormones and was a raging lunatic for like 5 years. Stopped them and I had hot flashes for a while I still do but not bad. That was 21 years ago. But I can relate to a lot of it. Feel way better than being on them tho!
Oh dear so where do I start? Ok, last year I weighed 205lb, then over the course of last year till now I lost 60 lbs and now I am at 145lbs. Let's start with that. I am 54, and I know for a fact that my metabolism is at roaring speed. I have been taking Black Cohosh, 2-3 times 2 dropper fulls a day now for a month, and take that crap Amberen. Guess what I am totally perplexed, it ain't helping, nothing is. I am having intense heatwaves. Yesterday I forgot to take the Black Cohosh and the Amberen. I only had one fricking hot-flash last night. AHHHHHHH wow. So I am off the cohosh. I think my body is feeling 24 again, sure starting to look like it, I forgot to mention all the saggy skin is going bye-bye too, with having become a gym rat so to say, before that COVID19PANDEMIC hit.
OMG. Thank you for writing this. Carbon copy of the shit that’s going on over here.????
Yes, yep, yep, and oh yeah! I hate to break this to you, but I'm 166, and I'm still there. I had a hysterectomy when I was 150, due to bleeding like a stuck pig for 6 months out of the year from fibroids. A year later, I had to have my ovaries removed because I had endometriosis on one of them. That THREW me into hot flashes. I'm talking every 10 minutes from 5PM to 10 AM...= no sleep. I went on the estrogen patch and that took care of that. I just weened myself off of them this year, and the hot flashes are back...but not as often. Everyone has different experiences, my Mom used nothing to get through menopause, as did my cousin & sister in law. I couldn't tough it out...my doctor told me I NEEDED my sleep...I was on the edge and the patch took care of it. I go to the gym 4-5 days a week, and it does NO good, except to make me stronger, which is ok with me. I know people my age that have the bodies of 80 yrs olds. The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight, but I did manage to drop 20 lbs last year, but it wasn't fun!! Oh, and my armpits smell like green beans :-/ The struggle is real, and about all we can do is support each other in the menopause sisterhood.
Yes to everything! You nailed it........ EXACTLY and any women that says they go through menopause without a symptom, well...... they just must be in denial. So totally enjoy your instagram stories !
hahaha thank you! ????
I'm having many of the same issues. Oh and my periods.....instead of skipping them sometimes I get 2 in 3 weeks. Oh what fun
This blog post is awesome! Thank you!
You summed it up beautifully girl. Love you guys even more after this post. ????❤️????Wish I could tell you it gets better but 5 years after menopause starting or what the hell ever, lol it still is pretty much like this. Can say the saying NO part gets MUCH easier! ????❤️
hahahahahaha Awww thank you!
Oh my gosh! You covered it all so well, I'd say with grace and style too! I'm 59, I tell people I'm pushing 60! I think it's to prepare myself for actually saying 60! I take hormones, didn't want to, but it helps the marriage, so I do. I'm lucky, it kind of ended my hot flashes, but not the other stuff. I have hashimotos, so that comes with a slew of symptoms and stuff. Isn't this rollercoaster more fun than the old one! I'm with you, fun is staying home!
hahahaha it sure it. I have thyroid issues, too. So, I'm constantly trying to find a balance of calm.
This is why I call it the “RUST years” not the golden years. You petty much covered everything.
hahahahaha exactly. Great name for it.
Yep I'm rusting away and I need to stop rusting so fast . Thanks for being honest.
hahaha OMG.. isn't it so stupid. I'm so over it.
Lol. I think you covered it well. So many things they don’t tell you, almost as if they tell you they are afraid it will come true because of course it’s “all in our heads”. I had a hysterectomy a year ago, where they accidentally found cancer, not a symptom until then. Recently I went to my oncologist and gave him my symptoms and basically he thought I was creating them lol. i can’t have hormones, so went to a GP who is a naturopath. She found my symptoms were from a cause, duh!!!! I expected my hormones to be out of wack, but not other things, like thyroid, magnesium, and cortisol that was off the charts. She has given me prescriptions for some but natural for others. Such as you do, waking up in the middle of the night (kavinace) and one for the stress and anxiety that is raising my cortisol levels and putting weight on (cortisol Manager), even though I don’t feel it my body is producing it). So look into whatever medicine you feel best with and see what really is going on. (Ps most drs just get the basic blood work done. Ask for more wide ranging.)
My integrative dr also gave me the kavinace!! It does help, thank you for reminding me because I forgot I had it!! ❤️
hahaha ????
That's what I'm going to be doing the next time I go. I want EVERYTHING checked.
Lol. I’m 58 and I was so happy to stop wearing pads only to find 2 yrs later I had to wear them all over again. This was something I never heard anyone talk about before. As women we need to share more. I have been telling all my young friends the joy that awaits them after their period stops. They now have period panties(no pads needed) and potty panties that art wonderful, pricey but wonderful. They are made by icon. Thank you so much for sharing as only you can. I’m glad I had on my pee panties when you got the your armpits. LMAO????
hahahahahahah thank you!